Possessions are often linked with memories. Sometimes those memories bring back feelings of nostalgia, or happiness. And sometimes they are linked with grief or loss. When the feelings are so big, sometimes the pile of things gets big too.

I never want people to feel embarrassed by the amount of things they have in their home, and I especially don’t want their mess to be the reason they don’t have people over. Community and connection are important for everyone, but especially for those navigating mental health issues, loss and grief.

There are many different types of events that can lead to clutter or even hoarding:

• Loss of a loved one (the loss itself, and also inheriting whatever they owned)
• Divorce
• Financial crisis such as food insecurity in childhood, job loss, or unexpected medical bills
• Fire, flooding or other damage to your house

Maybe you don’t want to face the memories, or maybe those possessions feel like a tangible piece of the past. Either way, decluttering is almost too simple a way to describe the kind of support it takes to confront grief and clear out your belongings, or those you inherited. At the root of these events and the mess that comes with them is a need for stability.

What does it take to move forward?

When I work with a client, my primary goal is to approach with patience and compassion. We may have to sit for a moment to digest, or we may have to come back later, and that’s okay. Emotional support, whether that’s through your own relationships or from a professional, can anchor you as you sort through any memories or feelings triggered as you go through the possessions.

Expanding on that, sometimes decluttering can feel like too big of a project to take on by yourself. Expert support, whether that be a therapist, or a cleaning professional, can provide an unbiased view as you sort through your belongings and emotions. Someone who can ask questions like, “Yes, you have a sentimental attachment to this item, but does that help you live a more fulfilling life?” in a gentle way when you don’t want to let go.

Where do you start?

Tackle one section at a time. First, make the space workable – if there isn’t room to walk into the room, clear a path. If you’re working in the kitchen, clear the counter space so you have room to sort.

Once the space is workable, start clearing out the visual clutter. In the kitchen, maybe tackle the area with the dirty dishes first. If you’re in the bathroom, maybe it’s the dirty laundry on the floor.

Most importantly though, is to give yourself some grace. I don’t judge my clients no matter how big the mess, and you shouldn’t judge yourself. Both decluttering and healing from grief take time – there’s no need to rush. The goal here is to take the steps to set yourself up for long-term success, and make your home a blissful place to be.

If you’d like to work with us to declutter your home, you can book our services here. You may also be interested in reading the following articles:

Decluttering and Grief: A Personal Perspective | Balance Through Simplicity

The Role of Grief and Loss in Triggering Hoarding Behavior | Lifecycle Transitions

Understanding Hoarding Behavior From a Trauma Perspective | Psychology Today